The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
By: Andy Rooney
The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
I didnt get old on purpose, it just happened. If youre lucky, it could happen to you.
Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, theres a 90% probability youll get it wrong.
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you cant eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as progress, doesnt spread.
Dont rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
Vegetarian - thats an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Dont clean it up too quickly.
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