On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
By: Milton Berle
My wife sent me a Valentine card that said,
I bought my kid an educational toy to help him make it through life. No matter how you put it together, it's wrong.
Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
My sister-in-law found a real surprise in her stockings - my brother.
My son gave me a nice bottle of cologne - Eau de Owe.
If you hire relatives, you'll have a payroll that won't quit.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Our local department store had two Santas - one for regular kids and one for kids who wanted ten toys or less.
I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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