Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
By: Steven Wright
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Im writing a book. Ive got the page numbers done.
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... How to Build a Boat.
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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